Joyful Liberation

Joyful Liberation

Sunday, July 24, 2016


The events of Friday, July 22nd are still haunting me.  It started off like any other Friday, we packed some snacks and got our stuff together to meet our unschooling friends at the park to play.  We have been meeting at splash pads this summer to forgo the heat and this day took us to a new to us location.  When we arrived at Sierra Newbold park there were emergency crews helping a little boy who had fallen.  I thought to myself, ugh, so scary and remembered Rowan's stitches experience after he fell at a park day last fall.
He immediately took off and when his friends arrived I only caught glimpses of him. He was having a blast as usual.  I was sitting with all the other mamas under our sportbrellas appreciating the occasional breeze that would blow, when Rowan's friend Adrian came running up to me and said Rowan is really hurt. 
I jumped up and took off towards the splash pad.  Rowan was screaming and slowly getting up.  An older boy came running up to me and said "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry we crashed" I assured him it was ok that these things happen and scooped Rowan up and hobbled back to my sportbrella.  Rowan asked to nurse and he nursed for what seemed like forever while whimpering and complaining that his head and leg hurt.  Then he started getting sleepy.  He doesn't  A. ask to nurse ever really except at night when falling to sleep and B. he never takes a nap.  As I would try to talk to him he would scream at me and he was seeming really confused about what was happening.  I remember feeling frozen, I didn't know what to do.  I think part of me knew it was really bad and the other part didn't want it to be so. 
Then it was a whirlwind.  My friends grabbed all my stuff and threw it in my car while I got Rowan buckled and looked for an instacare.  In hindsight I should have just called 911. They were just at the park, they could come back! I drove straight there with Rowan screaming at me and with his head falling from side to side like he was about to pass out.  He was so angry that we left the park and so angry that I was taking him to the Dr.  We raced into the instacare and they instantly told me that they probably couldn't help us if he needed an mri or ct scan but the Dr called us back to evaluate.  He asked me what happened and then said you need to be at Primarys.  If it were my kid that's where I would want to be.  I said ok and he called an ambulance.
 They strapped Rowan into a carseat on the gurney and we headed to Primary Medical Center.  On the way Rowan was in and out and super angry.  The girl was in the back with me and was sharing her crazy stories of breaking her back and her neck and several other bones and not feeling it like a normal person...turns out she was a 29 week preemie too!  They just don't feel pain the same. She literally broke her back skiing and continued to ski for hours before going to have it looked at.  She broke her neck in first grade!  Oh Rowan this is too much for me! So far you have spent the first 9 weeks of your life in a hospital, then you broke your arm, then you had stitches and now a concussion...and you are only 4!

About halfway to the hospital Rowan passed out and was completely unresponsive, even to painful stimuli.   They flipped on the sirens and she told me to fasten my seatbelt and I swear we were going 100 miles an hour.  She called the hospital and then started an IV.  She prepared me for what it was going to be like when we arrived, that a team of Dr's would take him and once he was stable they would bring me into the room.  This is when I went into shock.  It was just way too much.  Rowan slowly started to wake up and by the time we got to the hospital he was very drowsy but would wake up screaming at the EMT. 

They took us back and evaluated him.  They were really great at Primary's  They decided that he did have a concussion but it was not a serious one.  They had us stay for a few hours so they could observe him and he mostly nursed and slept. The Dr just kept going on about his vocabulary and his ability to explain how he was feeling. It was odd.  She really seemed more impressed with his vocabulary than she seemed concerned about his head lol  We have to keep him as still as possible for the next week. For those that know my kid, you know how hard that is going to be. I guess recovery from one concussion happens pretty fast but one right after the other can cause long term damage.  Yeah, that freaked me out just a little.  Can I bubble wrap his head?
 We are on day two and the first day was awful.  He begged and pleaded to play at the park.  He said we were awful and we were hurting his feelings. He has been hitting us, which he rarely does and he has had lots of outbursts of anger over very small things.  Concussions suck.  Thankfully his was a mild one.  We have been crafting (Thanks Grandma and Grandpa!) and playing Pokémon Go. Today we are going to see Ghostbusters, I think.  I picked up a train table that someone was getting rid of and that has peaked his interests for a while. 
Now for me.  I literally shut down when we got home from the hospital.  I slept for 11 hours. It was too much. The PTSD from the Nicu is one of the worst things ever.  I want it to just go away.  When he went unresponsive and the EMT started and IV and hooked him up to the monitors my heart sank and I was instantly transported back to that feeling of hopelessness I felt in the NICU but at the same time I was feeling like this isn't happening, Rowan is fine.  I am so, so grateful that it ended up being mild and he seems to be recovering for the most part.

Looks like another week of just laying low.  No waterpark for us this week, there is no way I could keep him from going down the slides over and over.  Luckily tomorrow Utah will be celebrating Pioneer Day ( the day the Mormons entered the valley) so we may go check out the parade (if we are awake!) and then we will definitely be going to the fireworks!  Today is actually Pioneer Day but because it falls on a Sunday the celebrations are tomorrow.  However, for us non LDS folk today is "Pie and Beer Day" So we are celebrating today~

It's also Learn Nothing Day for us Unschoolers.  But, if you are reading this blog you have already learned something so it's too late. Have a great day~

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I am a mom to 5 amazing kids and married to my best friend and love of my life. We co-habitate with 1 cat, Asha, 2 dogs, Maggie May and Juniper Wren, a Chinchilla names Ozwald, and a Hamster named Fat Panda. We have lived in Salt Lake City for 13 years by way of Tennessee and Oregon. I love to be with my kids, knit, run, craft, sew, paint,travel, hike and play :) I love our crazy life!