WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A PREEMIE PARENT !!!
1. “You’re so lucky that you didn’t have to go through the end of pregnancy!”
2. “At least, with the baby in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), you can get rest at night!”
3. “He’s so small!”
4. “When will he catch up?”
5. “What did you do, that he was born so early?”
6. “Everything happens for a reason.”
7. “Now that you have him home and off all that medical equipment, everything will be fine.”
8. “He’s how old? My child is the same age and twice his size.”
9. "With all those nurses around, you and your husband should just go out…you’ve got great babysitters"
10. "Is your baby going to make it?"
11. "When is your baby coming home?"
Not to mention everyone lecturing me on everything I was doing wrong and how I "made" myself have severe preeclampsia.
- "just eat a 20 lb turkey in 3 days and it will go away"
- " just eat the brewers diet and it will go away"
- " just take this vitamin, this supplement, this new found nutrient"
- "stop eating so much salt"
In the end, I think most people just don't know what to say. And, I think most people mean well and come from a place of love, at least that is how I choose to think. Having severe pre-eclampsia and a 29 week preemie changed me forever. I cannot imagine my life without my little guy.
Oh and he is doing just great by the way. He is our little miracle in more ways than I can count.
I guess emotions are stirring. Lots of similarities to this time last year...last May, we were coming home from vacation in Mexico...we just got back from vacation in California...Willow's hamster, Cocoa, died while we were in Mexico...Willow's hamster, Max, (aka the zombie hamster) died a day after we got back from California... the weather is similar...I remember coming from hot,humid Mexico to a trip to Park City with the homeschoolers wearing coats and hats! It is freezing here today! It is all just timing but it is stirring some feelings in me...this time I am not pregnant though! And as far as I know, I am not dying from an autoimmune disease thank goodness.
I am thinking about all those mama's and daddy's in the NICU right now and I KNOW what they are going through. It is war. It is NOT what you had planned. I am sending love and light.
I am choosing love and the fact that I get to celebrate my little man's 1st birthday here in a couple of weeks! Already planning his gluten free/dairy free "Elephant" Birthday cake and a trip to the zoo! Our neighborhood has a fishing rodeo that morning that Willow is interested in going to so we may do that also. Too many fun things coming up I can hardly wait.