Joyful Liberation

Joyful Liberation

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Soccer Moms....and Dads?

Willow started soccer last night. Josh is coaching and he did such a great job! He has such a gift with kids. Josh has been playing soccer on teams since he was 3. He quit last year because in Utah, he outgrew the rec leagues and well, we did the competitive soccer thing with Aspen and it was terrible. He did not even want to start down that road.

I am writing about this because I have been tossing and turning all night after some comments were made by parents on the team and I have to figure out something to do.

I was there helping most of the time. There are eleven 3-6 yr old kids and I thought maybe I should jump in and help just in case. I have to be there for legality reasons because Josh is only 15 and they have to be 16 to be "official".

My problem is I have to be in 2 places at the same time. Mara has art at 5:30 and soccer starts at 5:30. So, I drop Josh and Willow off early, race to art and drop off Mara and then race back to the field :) I am only about 10 minutes late and this time there was a dad out there helping so I thought great! We actually have parent volunteers! As I was walking to the field I overheard another dad tell his little girl to stop crying and wear the shin guards. He said "Don't you know all the other kids on your team will see you crying and how stupid you look!" I was mortified. Who talks to their child like that?? I felt like crying....

Well, what I soon realized was that the parent volunteer I thought we had was not helping at all but he was totally berating his 3 yr old little boy. It was terrible. I have never witnessed anything so awful. I just kept encouraging Andrew as his entire family, Mom, Dad and grandparents, yelled from the sidelines. He is 3 for Gods sake!!! Josh was so great with him. At one point Andrew was crying and his dad said "get back in there, look those kids are trying, why aren't you trying?" I am just appalled. When the game was over his family came over to us as we were putting the balls and cones away and they were asking lots of questions. They were just putting him down left and right. I said 'you know, Andrew did really great!" his mom cut me off and said "he DID NOT do great" I was left speechless. This entire time this 3 yr old little boy is standing there. I can't imagine what he had to endure the rest of the evening...

There were other moms and dads too that complained about the team name..."the red wolves" I told then all that they kids picked the name and one mom said "great, where was I when that was picked" I wanted to scream at her and say, well it wasn't your choice anyway! I don't know if I will make it through 8 weeks of these people.

I guess my job is to try and shelter the kids on the field from all the negativity being spewed and allow Josh to teach them that soccer is really fun. I hope I don't lose it! I am writing up something to give the parents next week about "sideline etiquette" :) Hopefully that will help some?? If this is what they mean by "soccer Moms" I am scared!

It is just another screaming example of why my kids will never set foot in the public school system and why I am so particular about the teachers they have in classes. This kind of crap goes on all the time and no one says anything, in fact, this is why those parents are all like this now. It is that "recess fear", that school mentality. You can't show emotion, everyone will laugh at you,...God forbid you fail at something...everyone will laugh at you.

Well, these people are in for an education in treating kids with respect. They are on Josh's field to learn soccer in a fun, positive atmosphere. I will not tolerate the few adults that feel it is there responsibility to but in and tell their child they suck at what they are doing. I especially don't want Willow to be affected by it.

We will see how the next practice goes. I certainly hope it is better! Willow had a great time and loves soccer regardless. I will post some pictures soon. We call her "gazelle 2.5" :) Aspen was the gazelle, a nickname we gave her because she is so dang fast! One of her coaches called her that too! Willow is following in her big sisters footsteps!


Weezy said...

I can't believe that little boys parents were putting him down so much!!! What ever happened to playing for fun or encouraging your kids? I hate to think about what this little boys life is like at home. I hope things get better on the soccer field for you!!!

Julie said...

We experienced some of the same behavior the first team Damek was on 2 years ago. Threatening that if the child didn't go out their and play they wouldn't get an ice cream cone on the way home:( And other such nonsense. It soured us to the whole "team" sports for young kids. Damek really wants to be on a team again though, so we might just have to bite the bullet.

Hope everything works out and that these parents learn a thing or two from Josh.

Diane said...

Go Josh!!!! Speak up Teri! Set the tone of acceptance and encouragment. Maybe nobody ever talked to these parents that way before. Maybe they will learn to love and listen!

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I am a mom to 5 amazing kids and married to my best friend and love of my life. We co-habitate with 1 cat, Asha, 2 dogs, Maggie May and Juniper Wren, a Chinchilla names Ozwald, and a Hamster named Fat Panda. We have lived in Salt Lake City for 13 years by way of Tennessee and Oregon. I love to be with my kids, knit, run, craft, sew, paint,travel, hike and play :) I love our crazy life!